A Catholic who experiences same-sex attractions

A Catholic who experiences same-sex attractions but willingly chooses to not act on their attractions and instead happily abides by Church teachings on homosexuality? One who is actually joyful and finding genuine wholeness in the life of abstinence which the Church has called them to?

To be completely transparent with you,

I didn’t think they ever existed either...

But the Lord proved me otherwise as He tends to do.

After all, having actively pursued a variety of men both romantically and sexually for a number of years, I always believed that true love and fulfillment could only be found through means of the flesh such as sex and romantic relationships.

However, as all of the world’s lies prove to end one way or another, there always existed a deeper part of my being that remained unfulfilled while living the ways I did.

This was my reality until I encountered the person of Jesus Christ and was made entirely new through His radically transformative love.

The fires of His most sacred heart fiercely pierced my own, igniting a new flame within me like none I had ever felt the heat of before.

My soul was penetrated by our Lord and soon the rest of my life followed suit.

I eventually decided to altogether stop sexually/romantically pursuing men (along with other sinful habits) and committed myself to pursuing Him with my whole heart, body, mind and spirit.

It’s been over two years since Jesus pulled me out of the grave that I had once buried myself in and submerged me into the rivers of His goodness.

Since then, I have only further drowned myself deeper and deeper into His living waters.

As each new day now passes, I am discovering more and more what it means to be His beloved and vice versa.

Yes, I still experience same-sex attractions. It’s a heavy cross that I carry daily for the Kingdom.

But I can wholeheartedly say that I have never felt more refreshed.

More fulfilled.

More alive.

And more loved than I do now living faithfully alongside Him.

Yes, abstinence is challenging and not always easy.

My vocation can absolutely be lonely and dry at times, just as any other walk of life can be.

But the One whose heart I now intimately know is far worth any sacrifice I will ever have to offer.

I am entirely His and He is entirely mine.

I can genuinely say that I wouldn’t want it to be any other way.

Written by: Emmanuel Gonzalez

IG @callmemannyyy

https://linktr.ee/callmemannyyy